Miracles. Let me tell ya.

I want to take a minute and reflect on the goodness of God. But To be honest, my personal relationship with the Lord has seen better times. I am still in a weird transition stage of my life and He has taken a back seat due to all the craziness. I know He is there guiding me each step but my feelings most days seem to outweigh my knowledge. So with that said, I want to share a story that will hopefully bring hope and remind myself of the miracles he performs each and every single day. I want to share about one of my dearest friends from treatment and her journey. I will call her "Rachel"

I will never forget the first day I met Rachel. She was one of my roommates and She was nice but very quiet and withdrawn. As the days went on I thought wow she really hates me. I have always been very open about my feelings and if I am upset I usually will let the whole world know it. Rachel was the complete opposite and I could never figure out what she was thinking. One night at dinner she expressed her discomfort when myself and another roommate would hug or touch her. I thought to myself what is wrong with her? Who doesn't like hugs? But I tried to respect her personal space and love her anyway I could. At the beginning I remember this numbness and lifeless look in her eyes. We all had that look but something inside of me resonated with Rachel.



One weekend Rachel really opened up and I saw a completely new person emerge. This is where our lifelong friendship started. The Lord really allowed me to open up to her and vice versa. I don't even know where to begin with the journey this girl has had to walk on. She would always give small details about her past and what got her to treatment but nothing in detail. I don't remember when exactly she began to truly share but it took time. Its hard to explain this in writing because you had to see it to fully understand. This girl, one of the strongest women I know, has gone thru things that should have broken her and ultimately brought her to death. I am not going to explain in detail but to sum things up she has went thru numerous traumas, sexual abuse, and abusive relationships. The things Rachel has experienced are literally unfathomable to me. She never told anyone about some of these events for almost 20 years. That is a lot of pain that has been buried deep and never to be felt again. Being with Rachel during therapy and flashbacks of her previous traumas reminded me of how evil this world really is. But it also made The Lord's light shine that much brighter because He is our only hope.

Once she shared her life story and I was completely blown away. My heart just sank to my stomach and I remember having one of those moments where I thought God, I know you are good but why and how did you let this happen? Why her? If any other person would have experienced just one of her numerous trials they would have given up on life. My heart hurt so bad for my precious friend and I knew there was nothing I could do but pray. Somewhere in between all of this we would discuss God and what he meant to both of us. I found it was pretty common for girls to run to the Lord during this time of treatment because literally they had no where else to go. Rachel had a catholic background but over the years had fallen away from the Lord. One day I was having a  really hard day recovery wise and I remember rachel coming up to me and she said,
 "I don't know if this is the correct wording so don't quote me on this but I read in Jesus Calling something about I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me,So you can do this with His help right?" My face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning and I said yes, thats exactly what it means!! It was the sweetest purest moment of seeing the Lord begin to work.

I called all my friends and family and told them to be on their hands and knees every day praying for this girl. The Lord specifically told me this is one of the reasons why I sent you here. To start a lifelong friendship and most importantly share the love of Jesus. We discussed the Lord many times and I shared how Jesus died for our sins and now we are free from our pasts and forgiven by His blood. This conversation and many others were just steps along the way for God's greater plan. There were so many nights I would cry over the spiritual battle that was happening over this precious child of the Lord. I have never felt or seen such an apparent war going on within someone. 

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." -John 10:10

As time went on I began to see small changes and Rachel began to laugh and smile again. A girl who once would have a mini panic attack with physical tough was now hugging me, holding me while I cried, and scratching my back when I had a hard day. She started voicing her feelings and expressing emotion. Like i said earlier, it is hard to explain in words but this was a HUGE step. Rachel even started crying, screaming, and feeling on a normal basis. This happening would be the equivalent to a deaf person waking up one day and magically beginning to hear!  She had always been the "perfect girl" on the outside and always happy while pleasing others. But the Lord literally broke down every comfort she had. She was helpless, no where else to run. 

I cannot exactly pinpoint where all of this happened but after I left remuda we spoke on the phone a few weeks later and something different was in her voice. She talked about how her relationship with the Lord had grown and her strength was coming from him. Many days before this she didn't want to live. All hope was lost and her life was utterly in shambles and there seemed to be no way to escape all the pain and abuse that she had endured. There were so many days where I thought the the eating disorder would take her life. I was so scared and  would cry begging the Lord to heal her and keep her alive. 

"Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it" -John 14:13-14

 But this time when I spoke to her, there was faith. There was trust. There was love. She began to encourage me in the Lord, quote scripture, and share her actual feelings. I was absolutely blown away and then it hit me. The revelation I had is why I wanted to share this story.

  Y'all my Jesus is amazing. Indescribable. Powerful. Holy. Loving. Forgiving. 

The list goes on and on!! I have seen the Lord do amazing things but the work he has done in Rachel is truly is a miracle. I saw the beginning girl. I saw the painful pruning and the purification process. Now I get to see the transformation. NO ONE IS EVER TOO FAR GONE FOR GOD TO REDEEM. I want to encourage everyone reading this that God is a mighty force! We all say yeah I will pray about that, or when disaster strikes we go to prayer. I have been beyond blessed to be able to pray and see the fruit from it but that is not always the case. 

Praying moves mountains and changes lives. I know I am so casual about my prayer life and recently lost that passion to get on my knees every day and go to the Lord with thankfulness and interceding on the behalf of others. But as the body of Christ we have to!!! Even if we do not see the results it does not mean our prayers are not being heard. This is where faith comes in. True faith grows when we have to trust. Blind faith is hard and the enemy tells us to give up when we don't see instant gratification. THIS IS A LIE. This is what he wants us to think so we will stop praying. He knows the power of prayer and if all Christians truly understood the magnitude of this gracious privilege, I believe we would never stop praying.  

“The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying.  He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work and prayerless religion. He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but he trembles when we pray.”  Samuel Chadwick

With all this said, I am blown away by God's grace in Rachel's life. And I know his work is not over with her. He has a mighty plan that He is going to use her for and I cannot wait to see how it unfolds! But friends keep on praying. Pray hard. Pray with faith. Let Rachel's story inspire you that God still performs miraculous wonders. He didn't just part the red sea, turn water into wine and then stop. He can and will do things that seem impossible, because that is who He is.

Always be joyful.  Never stop praying Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18